Sooner or Later
I'm reminded of a quote (or quotation for you sticklers) from Fight Club that seems pretty appropriate now:
"Sooner or later, we all became what Tyler wanted us to be."
As I was welcomed to my meeting with the Imtiaz CEO today, the woman welcoming us said:
"Thank you for taking time to become here."
And it's totally true. I'm becoming here. I have no idea what I'm becoming, but there's a change going on and it was nice for someone to acknowledge it. I felt genuinely appreciated, even if it was just another Malaysian Malapropism... a Malayapropism if you will.
Since I am becoming, I should look at what I'm becoming into. This is best examined by a study of my actions and people's reactions to me.
Malaysian Ez is a bit taller, more outwardly impressive, and a bit entitled as well. People (teenage girls mostly) still jump or squeak when they see him. People (male teachers mostly) come to him as the expert on all things English, American, non-Muslim, and for some reason, Technological. Everything he says and does is hilarious, most of which is not intentional. He tries hard, which makes it even funnier when he fails.
Case in point: I bought onions and garlic yesterday for Sarah's cooking class and I was doing really well. I was super cool. I drove up in my Moto. I knew the words for both foods and I knew the words for the quantities I wanted them in, as well as the cost of each. I told them that I was a teacher and just as I was leaving, I stepped on a stray cat.
I think I saved the interaction because I still knew the word for cat, and was able to apologize to it in Malay.
But that's what happens to the me I'm becoming. As soon as his head gets a little too big, he gets humbled right quick. To drive the point home, I always look really cool, since I have to dress nicely for work. However, I only own three pairs of pants, one of which fits terribly since I bought it here after I got frazzled while shopping and chose one with a 35-inch waist after trying it on first in a shower then in a closet over the course of 45 minutes. I understand now that I do not have a 35-inch waist and I'm pretty sure I wouldn't make the same mistake again, but it's a humbling experience when it takes you 45 minutes to buy a bad pair of pants.
So that's the Ezra it creates. It builds me up because I can speak English better than any Malay and because I'm taller, whiter, and maler than most, all, and half of them, while at the same time tearing me down because my language capabilities in Malay is the equivalent of, I don't know, a mentally-disabled parrot. It makes me feel important that I can wear a tie and give a Power Point presentation to someone whose title is only three letters, while at the same time reminding me that I'm insignificant since no one cares about my Power Point, especially not the person whose title is only three letters.
That's what I'm becoming. A person infinitely more powerful and incompetent than I was back in the states. That's what this country expects of me.
And sooner or later, we all became what Malaysia wanted us to be.
"Sooner or later, we all became what Tyler wanted us to be."
As I was welcomed to my meeting with the Imtiaz CEO today, the woman welcoming us said:
"Thank you for taking time to become here."
And it's totally true. I'm becoming here. I have no idea what I'm becoming, but there's a change going on and it was nice for someone to acknowledge it. I felt genuinely appreciated, even if it was just another Malaysian Malapropism... a Malayapropism if you will.
Since I am becoming, I should look at what I'm becoming into. This is best examined by a study of my actions and people's reactions to me.
Malaysian Ez is a bit taller, more outwardly impressive, and a bit entitled as well. People (teenage girls mostly) still jump or squeak when they see him. People (male teachers mostly) come to him as the expert on all things English, American, non-Muslim, and for some reason, Technological. Everything he says and does is hilarious, most of which is not intentional. He tries hard, which makes it even funnier when he fails.
Case in point: I bought onions and garlic yesterday for Sarah's cooking class and I was doing really well. I was super cool. I drove up in my Moto. I knew the words for both foods and I knew the words for the quantities I wanted them in, as well as the cost of each. I told them that I was a teacher and just as I was leaving, I stepped on a stray cat.
I think I saved the interaction because I still knew the word for cat, and was able to apologize to it in Malay.
But that's what happens to the me I'm becoming. As soon as his head gets a little too big, he gets humbled right quick. To drive the point home, I always look really cool, since I have to dress nicely for work. However, I only own three pairs of pants, one of which fits terribly since I bought it here after I got frazzled while shopping and chose one with a 35-inch waist after trying it on first in a shower then in a closet over the course of 45 minutes. I understand now that I do not have a 35-inch waist and I'm pretty sure I wouldn't make the same mistake again, but it's a humbling experience when it takes you 45 minutes to buy a bad pair of pants.
So that's the Ezra it creates. It builds me up because I can speak English better than any Malay and because I'm taller, whiter, and maler than most, all, and half of them, while at the same time tearing me down because my language capabilities in Malay is the equivalent of, I don't know, a mentally-disabled parrot. It makes me feel important that I can wear a tie and give a Power Point presentation to someone whose title is only three letters, while at the same time reminding me that I'm insignificant since no one cares about my Power Point, especially not the person whose title is only three letters.
That's what I'm becoming. A person infinitely more powerful and incompetent than I was back in the states. That's what this country expects of me.
And sooner or later, we all became what Malaysia wanted us to be.
Comments
So how many points did you get on your PowerPoint?
Love,
Annie