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Showing posts from May, 2011

Ezra Fox: Professional Game Reviewer

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So I completed one of my life goals by getting hired to write a computer game review. Originally posted on Out of the Storm News, here is the review in full:

Have You Considered the Benefits of Life Insurance” is a computer game about life insurance, which automatically makes it the best computer game about life insurance, because the competition is just that thin.

The plot is simple enough: you are an ugly life insurance salesman with a trophy wife. You need to buy your wife gifts (a fish, a bottle of wine, something I thought was an asthma inhaler but now believe to be a blender) so that she stays with you. You make money by selling life insurance policies to pixelated people who will pay you $1 a second until they fall into a hole and die, at which point you pay them $100. (Since that’s the only way anyone dies, I’d probably have a “falling down holes exemption clause” in the policy, but that’s just me.) If you so choose, you can plug up holes at $20 a pop.
My first time through t…