The Sweet Escape

So it has recently come to my attention that I still don't have a job. I could've sworn I already got one, but apparently being a weekly blogger and daily sandwich-eater doesn't count.

Imagine my delight when I found a posting for a job that combines travel with infrequent blogging.... and pays $100,000.

Turns out you if you want to take care of an island in Australia for 6 months, you can make a nice pile of change.

I was getting really excited about this idea: beautiful beaches, fun accents, fresh seafood, and occasional travel writing... what could be better? But then I remembered: I already did this in Malaysia. And while I would never say I hated the experience, it's fair to say we had our issues. And I'd need to do some serious soul-searching before I put myself in another situation where fish was the default food for every meal.

But most people have never left their lives for 6 months for a tropical paradise, so they can't think of any possible problems that would arise. All they can think about is the problems they have now in their current lives, and how they could escape them if they just flew across the world and lived somewhere new, like the great convicts that were shipped to Australia in mid-19th century. Yeah, it sounds like a good idea if you're a convict, but for the rest of us, they'll be new problems wherever you go, and at least in your current life, you're used to your problems. I know what to do when I have 200 pages of Faulkner to read, but I'll be damned if I know what to do when a dingo eats your baby. (It turns out it's the same answer to both: do nothing.)

This desire to get away from it all is all over the news, nowadays. You might've heard about the financial adviser who faked his death by crashing his plane and then fleeing on a motorcycle, a la Steve McQueen? He was doing super well until the whole thing became national news and he was found to be alive. He also made the whole thing considerably less funny by trying to kill himself for real once he knew his plan had failed. I feel bad for the guy, since he was in trouble before, but now he could also be charged with faking his own death and attempting suicide. Not exactly an improvement.

So the moral of the story, friends, is that there is no escape from troubles and strife. Not even suicide, which according to the excellent movie "Wristcutters: A Love Story," simply leads to another world like this one, only slightly crappier.

Wait, that's kind of a downer-- lemme try again. The important thing to realize is that most problems go away, even if they are replaced by other, worse problems. Uh... I mean the important thing to remember is that while you can't ever escape your problems and failures, you can definitely run away from them. Which I will now do.


Take me away, Steve McQueen!

Wait, he doesn't make it? Er... let's try that again...
Take me away, Gwen Stefani!

Comments

David Fox said…
That IS a nice job... at least for the first month or so. Then maybe not so much. Much nicer weather than where I'm heading!
Unknown said…
Not going to lie: Wristcutters A Love Story looks pretty good.
Anonymous said…
Hey Ez, I think you're totally right. People do think they can run away from their problems and I agree that tropical "paradises" aren't all they're made out to be. So what really would be your dream job do you think?
Jackie said…
zra i was seriously going to apply to that best job in t e world thing- my cousin sent me a link but you have to make a video etc and it just seems like too much work. but living life on a tropical island for another year would probably make me very very happy.

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