My Sippy Cup Runneth Over

Mr. Fix-it was telling me about silat, Malaysia's favorite (if not only) homegrown martial art. He was saying that if you get to a high enough level in silat you can drink a glass of poison and nothing will happen to you. This is as opposed to the effects of drinking a glass of poison on most people where nothing will happen to you... ever again.

This claim got me thinking:
1. Do you test your level of silat by drinking poison? Does this account for why I haven't heard of this martial art before?

2. Assuming this did work, how would you ever know if someone was trying to poison you? Conceivably your spouse, co-workers, or rivals could be trying to kill you, unsuccessfully, for weeks while you keep on smiling at them, laughing at their jokes, or carpooling with them. This could lead to some awkward conversations down the line. "Are you sure you feel fine? Really? And you finished the glass? Okay, well, keep me posted."

3. Couldn't you just not drink the glass? I appreciate that I'm not a silat master and am vulnerable to attacks from my secret enemies, but if anyone ever tries to poison me by saying "this is a glass of poison, you should drink it" I'm just going to Nancy Reagan it. On the other hand, I am very susceptible to peer pressure (and for some reason, also to subordinate pressure), so it would be pretty useful to gain the approval of my friends and underlings by drinking glasses of poison when they tell me to.

4. What about that scene in Princess Bride? Was Wesley a silat master?

5. And what about those substances that are bad for us, but aren't poison per se? If I'm a silat master can I still get drunk? Or does it just mean that I can no longer get hang overs and liver disease anymore? Does this count for beer and hard alcohol, or is it something random like wine spritzers only? Also, as alcohol is banned in Islam because it is harmful to the body, can muslim silat masters knock back a few cold ones with the knowledge that no damage will come to their bodies?

6. Is it only poison in a glass that they have an immunity to? If I'm trying to kill some silat masters do I have to serve them in a sippy cup?

7. Can silat masters be so powerful that they can choose to die by poison if it suits them? Like if they're being tortured by other (evil) silat masters and they have a poison capsule in one of their molars? Or would they have to kill themselves by some other way, like spontaneous combustion, or transforming into a wine spritzer?

As is the case with all things I don't understand, I turned to the internet for guidance and wisdom. I'm guessing that evil silat masters ran into a problem when their plans to poison less-evil silat masters through poison binge drinking failed. But, being crafty ones they followed the reasoning in point #6 and started putting poison in other, less potable places, namely weapons and such.

Apparently the internet also tells me that a well-known poison was made from the sap of the ipoh tree. There's a place called Ipoh not 8 hours from here. If you visit, watch out for sippy cups. They probably don't have wine spritzers in 'em.

Comments

anything in enough quantity is a poison. Remember those frat pledges that died b/c they drank too much water? Maybe they will try to poison you with too much water! muahahah

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