The Doctor Fish Will See You Now

Kuala Lumpur: city of commerce, city of progress, city of medically licensed fish. Sarah and I returned to KL for the weekend and this time, our eyes were wide open. First, and arguably most importantly, I was able to sustain several hundred fish on the dead skin on my feet and legs alone. I payed 38 Ringgit ($12) for this honor and would've gladly shelled out double. The experience of tiny fish nibbling at my skin ranged from hilarious, to surreal, to ticklish, to creepy, and finally to therapeutic. Those fish totally knew what they were doing. Sarah and I then proceeded to a Sushi bar, but out of respect for the great service that their healing brethren had given me, I abstained from fish, instead eating only soft shell crab and shrimp, neither of which had ever effectively treated any of my numerous topical ailments. Should've stayed in school, guys, I thought to myself as I chewed slowly. You could've been doctors.

Arguably even more bizarre than my encounters with Doctor Fish was the fact that I finally got a chance to think about what I've experienced here. All this time I thought I was learning about the real Malaysia, being in Terengganu. But after staying in KL for a few days it became abundantly clear that if a real Malaysia existed, it certainly wasn't in Terengganu. Compared to cosmopolitan KL, Terengganu is as a state so religious they moved the weekend from Saturday to Friday. A state so religious that it elected the Malaysian equivalent of a conservative religious Green party to office 9 years ago. All this time I thought that Terengganu was the norm and that the difficulties I had here were problems with Malaysia in general. It now occurs to me that I know very little about the majority of Malaysia, and that for most Malaysians (or at least most people from KL) being sent to live in Terengganu would be more foreign for them than being sent to San Francisco. Basically, I've made the mistake of assuming I know America after only living in an Alaskan fishing village for 2 months.

This is not to say that it's a bad Alaskan fishing village. Quite the opposite, in fact, as the people are kind, the fish are extraordinarily good (although most of them are not doctors, unlike in KL), and my time here is more peaceful, enjoyable, and interesting than not. Still, it would be wrong to think that the rest of the country was like this one small village.

And now a few things become clear. It's no coincidence that we were sent to one of the two most conservative states in Malaysia, one that's currently encouraging tourists as it states that 2008 is "Visit Terengganu Year." Malaysia is opening up to tourism and and Terengganu certainly doesn't want to be left behind. But here's the strange thing. Inside of the conservative state everything looks static. Life progresses as it has for many years. Nearly everyone's Muslim, all the women cover their hair from puberty on (or earlier), and the genders don't mix. But when you look to KL (and I believe the rest of the country) you get a very different picture.

In KL a head covering is much more of a rarity for women, not only because the population is so much more diverse, but because the Malays practicing Islam just don't take it as seriously. Even more surprising, there were Muslim girls (too young to be married) who were openly and affectionately touching boys, which is just unheard of in Terengganu. Since I was shocked to see this after only a few months here, how must the Terengganu natives feel about KL? And how must the KL natives feel about Terengganu?

Terengganu is one of the last bastions of a conservative brand of Islam that I believe used to be much more popular throughout the country. It's maintained its traditional culture in part because of its homogeneousness and isolation. And now the government wants to open it up to tourism.

Since I like to think of myself as a generally progressive guy, I thought I'd be enthused by the idea that Terengganu will likely become more liberal over the next decade as it opens itself up to the rest of the world and its own country. But I'm not. I can't shake this feeling of dread like I might be eating the last woolly mammoth, or watching the fall of Rome. True, this is the third year of the ETA program and Terengganu has yet to spring up its own Vegas, Los Angeles, or Seattle, but I get the sense that somewhere unwritten in my mission statement is that I'm supposed to do a little bit to aid in the destruction of their way of life.

Of course I won't be able to single-handedly be responsible for the "modernizing" of Terengganu's values, but it's a strange position to be in to think that I might be here for that purpose.

I heard a lot about tolerance growing up in the Bay Area, and ever since an excellent South Park episode, my thinking about it has changed a bit. In order to actually be tolerant of something, you have to disagree with it. It's no great act of tolerance to be tolerate something that you don't have a problem with in the first place. I came to Malaysia in part because I wanted to show myself that Muslim countries aren't different at all, and that once I got past my ignorance I would be a very tolerant person. But if it turned out that there was no significant difference between Malaysia and the US, there'd be nothing to tolerate. I would've just collapsed this "other" value system into my own in which case I'd have no problem accepting what I already believe in.

So here's my take on Terengganu right now (and relatively conservative Islam on the whole). It's not what they think it is, but it's not what I wanted it to be either. What I envisioned was basically a secular state which has gender equality and is very tolerant of foreigners. Since I don't think this exists in the US (or anywhere in the world), it was a bit much to ask for. And I was disappointed that my little corner of Malaysia couldn't live up to my expectations. Oh well. I guess I'll have to be tolerant.

The really embarrassing thing is how tolerant people here have been of me. True, if they knew everything about me, that might change. But still, they've found a place for me in their school and no one's trying to convert me to Islam. One guy asked me if I hated Islam, but everyone else has been awesome. I understand that this is far from the universal experience of the ETAs, but maybe that'll shed some light on why I might be hesitant to be a part of something that wants to change Terengganu. They're not trying to change me, so it just seems unprovoked.

And yet it seems inevitable that Terengganu will change. Which makes me appreciate my time here even more. There'll be no going back to this place once I leave. It will cease to exist the moment my foot steps on the plane to go home, 5 months from now. And if I ever returned, it would be a very different Malaysia that I would come back to.

But maybe that's too pessimistic of an outlook. Terengganu isn't so weak that its well-protected values will be so easily eroded after a few years of being exposed to the rest of the world. After all, The Doctor Fish have been taken on the rest of the world and they're doing just fine.

-Ez
The Doctor Fish is in.