Fine By Me
"One Form 2 girl, she make the sex."
Sarah was made privy to this great little bit of gossip the other day and I'm both surprised and eager to pass it on. We really didn't think they knew about sex here. We were mistaken. Apparently the youngin' made the sex with an 18 year old boy, which as she was 14, is illegal in most states and countries, Muslim or otherwise. While the Koran does mention a fairly severe punishment (up to 100 lashes), pre-marital sex is much less of a big deal than adultery, an act that's generally frowned upon. I have been told, however, that lashing has been replaced by a 300 Ringgit fine in this situation. Naturally, this leads to many interesting and troubling questions:
1. Is the fine per sex? Or per relationship? Or perhaps even per partner? Do you get a discount if you don't enjoy it that much? Is it 300 Ringgit for the couple so that the partners can split it as they see fit? Is the guy expected to pay more, or do they go Dutch? (Side note: According to this, some places in South America say "pagar a la americana" or "pay in the American style" instead of going Dutch.)
2. What makes the people that collect the fine different from prostitutes, since they've just been paid for sex?
3. If you'll recall from the last post, I had to pay 290 Ringgit to repair the damages that I so wisely inflicted on the car foolish enough to park near me (One Car Crash = 290 MYR). If we take a Sex Fine as a unit of measurement equaling 300 MYR, it is also equal to One Car Crash + 1.82 Zinger Maxxes. In other words, the form 2 girl could've taken her cradle-robbing boy-toy to KFC, had nearly two delicious sandwiches, crashed the car on the way back, and still only be set back one Sex Fine. To give you some frame of reference, I usually spend 2/3 of a Sex Fine per weekend in my travels. I get paid approximately 6.7 Sex Fines per month. Moreover, a nice hotel in KL would probably cost about 1 Sex Fine, which means if you use it, it'll cost 2.
Going off of the theme of "It's not reality, it's Malaysia" I decided to do what I could to shake the foundations of my Form 4 students' world as best as I could. Basically I gave them the challenge to prove to me that they were awake right now and were not just experiencing a mundane and extended dream. Since the couldn't really do it, I gave them the homework assignment to start testing reality in the hopes of triggering a lucid dream sometime in the future. I'll let you know if it works.
Lastly, it doesn't look like going Dutch exists here in Malaysia. I just got treated to lunch by one of my female co-workers (this would be a first). She said simply:
"Ezra, I pay for you. Because I love you. (massive giggling from everyone in the vicinity) Just kidding."
You can treat a white English teacher to lunch 75 times with just 1 Sex Fine. (Sigh) It's that naughty Form 2 girl's fault that I have to rely on my co-workers affections to get lunch. If she could just keep it in the pants until marriage and buy me food instead, I wouldn't have to shell out 1 Sex Fine for my meals over the next few months.
Think Pre-Marital Sex is a victimless crime? Think again.
Sarah was made privy to this great little bit of gossip the other day and I'm both surprised and eager to pass it on. We really didn't think they knew about sex here. We were mistaken. Apparently the youngin' made the sex with an 18 year old boy, which as she was 14, is illegal in most states and countries, Muslim or otherwise. While the Koran does mention a fairly severe punishment (up to 100 lashes), pre-marital sex is much less of a big deal than adultery, an act that's generally frowned upon. I have been told, however, that lashing has been replaced by a 300 Ringgit fine in this situation. Naturally, this leads to many interesting and troubling questions:
1. Is the fine per sex? Or per relationship? Or perhaps even per partner? Do you get a discount if you don't enjoy it that much? Is it 300 Ringgit for the couple so that the partners can split it as they see fit? Is the guy expected to pay more, or do they go Dutch? (Side note: According to this, some places in South America say "pagar a la americana" or "pay in the American style" instead of going Dutch.)
2. What makes the people that collect the fine different from prostitutes, since they've just been paid for sex?
3. If you'll recall from the last post, I had to pay 290 Ringgit to repair the damages that I so wisely inflicted on the car foolish enough to park near me (One Car Crash = 290 MYR). If we take a Sex Fine as a unit of measurement equaling 300 MYR, it is also equal to One Car Crash + 1.82 Zinger Maxxes. In other words, the form 2 girl could've taken her cradle-robbing boy-toy to KFC, had nearly two delicious sandwiches, crashed the car on the way back, and still only be set back one Sex Fine. To give you some frame of reference, I usually spend 2/3 of a Sex Fine per weekend in my travels. I get paid approximately 6.7 Sex Fines per month. Moreover, a nice hotel in KL would probably cost about 1 Sex Fine, which means if you use it, it'll cost 2.
Going off of the theme of "It's not reality, it's Malaysia" I decided to do what I could to shake the foundations of my Form 4 students' world as best as I could. Basically I gave them the challenge to prove to me that they were awake right now and were not just experiencing a mundane and extended dream. Since the couldn't really do it, I gave them the homework assignment to start testing reality in the hopes of triggering a lucid dream sometime in the future. I'll let you know if it works.
Lastly, it doesn't look like going Dutch exists here in Malaysia. I just got treated to lunch by one of my female co-workers (this would be a first). She said simply:
"Ezra, I pay for you. Because I love you. (massive giggling from everyone in the vicinity) Just kidding."
You can treat a white English teacher to lunch 75 times with just 1 Sex Fine. (Sigh) It's that naughty Form 2 girl's fault that I have to rely on my co-workers affections to get lunch. If she could just keep it in the pants until marriage and buy me food instead, I wouldn't have to shell out 1 Sex Fine for my meals over the next few months.
Think Pre-Marital Sex is a victimless crime? Think again.
Comments
by the way, Ez, what was for lunch?
ROFL,
Annie