Fox Life

So for those of you who haven't been reading the news , now is not the best time to be reliant on the state of California for anything. Unfortunately, as a student of a public university, I'm currently looking to them to make me a writer. Not the best idea. A few weeks ago, SFSU decided that me going to school one day a week was just too much, so there was a furlough day on my one day of school. For people unfamiliar with the term, furlough mean teachers don't work, the school doesn't pay them, and I have 13 days off in a row for no good reason. It's a crazy, debt-ridden world we're living in, people. Greeting me upon my triumphant return to school was a cat-sized dust bunny in the corner of my classroom. A fellow student was quick to point out that this was clearly an "F-you" dust bunny, and I'm inclined to agree. If tenured teachers are taking mandatory days off, then imagine what the administration's doing to cut the costs of people who are...

I discovered how to use Photoshop. Take that, Kanye.

I had my first class of the new semester yesterday and one of my professors said something that just floored me: "Class is the last taboo in America." And here I was thinking it was bestiality. Once again, I owe a sincere appology to Eddie Munster . And John Travolta . And possibly Catherine the Great . There's only one way to find out if class is a taboo or not: the comedy test. As Wikipedia tells me: "When done as a parody or comedy, said or done by comedians, taboo topics and subject matter can induce comical reaction by the general public..." There were several bestiality jokes in the beginning of this post. I thought they were funny. So it's probably still taboo. And a fun one at that. So is class still taboo? I've got two reasons to think it isn't. 1. Aren't we all poor now? I mean I guess you can still have bragging rights about the 6-figure job you used to have, but when unemployment runs out, we'll all be in line at Walmart together...

Let me start off by saying that I am not one of the G.I. Joe faithful. Sure, I know what half the battle is (and even more recently, what comprises the other half ), and I followed the general story arc of the series (shoot the bad guys). But since my house growing up was NRA unfriendly, the Joes and I always kept our distance. That being said, G.I. Joe was fun. I've realized my purpose in life. I am here to separate the two kinds of bad things in the world. To sift out the "so bad it's good" from the "so bad it's bad." I'm happy to report that for me at least, G.I. Joe falls solidly in the former category. Lemme quickly give you a greatest hits rundown of the movie. Spoilers may follow. 1. Ninja fight. One all in black and one all in white. But get this, the black one is the good one! Welcome to Obama's America, people. 2. Sienna Miller shows her range as being able to play a blonde and an brunnette. 3. There's an underwater playset fortre...

As a general rule I don't watch anything on YouTube over 2 minutes long unless it's about a shopping penguin , and it's a rule I don't advise breaking. So to save you time, I'll summarize this video: If you take a passage from Luke 10:18, "I beheld Satan as lightning fall from heaven" and translate it back to the Hebrew, which is close enough to the original Aramaic, "lightning" and "heaven" can be translated as Baraq and Bamah! Some people might say that this means Luke is naming President Baraq Bamah (sp?) as the Antichrist, but that's an easy misinterpretation. The real Antichrist is, and always has been, the Barracks in (Ala)bama. That's right, I'm talking about Fort Rucker . Is it any coincidence that Fort Rucker, if transposed through a spoonerism, becomes Rort F____r? And as we all know, rort is slang for scam in Australia, a country founded on colonies of criminals. So then rort would be a scammer of criminals, some...

Sarah's been law clerking in Oakland over the summer at the International Institute of the Bay Area , working with undocumented immigrants who've had terrible stuff happened to them, and through the quirks of US immigration policy, are able to parlay those terrible experiences into legal status. Thanks to the U Visa , if you're the victim of a violent crime and help out with the police investigation, you could become a permanent resident. It's like winning the lottery , only worse. Of course, that's assuming you're in a sanctuary city where the police won't call ICE to report you. If you're not in a sanctuary city, then your reward for being a victim of violence might just be deportation, which by all accounts is a pretty crappy prize. Anyway, with Sarah's temporary addition to Oakland's workforce, I've become a temporary addition to Oakland's tourists. I don't know what you've heard about Oakland, but there's really only...

12:00pm, 7/14/09. At the F Street movie theater, there's a line wrapped around the side of the building filled with a group of teen girls (and some boys) dressed up in capes and Gryffindor ties. They have another 12 hours to go before Harry Potter 6 premiers, and the high in Davis today is 103 degrees. To add to the spectacle, there's a channel 3 news van parked outside, and a reporter with slick hair is putting in an earpierce before reporting on these fans. I think the reporter's either Mike , David , or Brian , but honestly all their hair looks pretty much the same. Despite anything else you can say about these kids, they definitely care about Harry Potter. And I bet they're going to enjoy the movie more than anyone else in that theater. For it is as that famous dead white guy said, "That which we obtain too easily, we esteem too lightly." I might just be talking out of my ass here, but I think old T-Paine has a point. My life is pretty easy. Running ...