Yo Joe!

Let me start off by saying that I am not one of the G.I. Joe faithful. Sure, I know what half the battle is (and even more recently, what comprises the other half), and I followed the general story arc of the series (shoot the bad guys). But since my house growing up was NRA unfriendly, the Joes and I always kept our distance.

That being said, G.I. Joe was fun.

I've realized my purpose in life. I am here to separate the two kinds of bad things in the world. To sift out the "so bad it's good" from the "so bad it's bad." I'm happy to report that for me at least, G.I. Joe falls solidly in the former category.

Lemme quickly give you a greatest hits rundown of the movie. Spoilers may follow.
1. Ninja fight. One all in black and one all in white. But get this, the black one is the good one! Welcome to Obama's America, people.

2. Sienna Miller shows her range as being able to play a blonde and an brunnette.

3. There's an underwater playset fortress. And a massive underwater battle. And then the whole freaking arctic collapses on them.

4. The Eiffel tower gets destroyed. Sure the Ninja Turtles already destroyed the tower... twice... but it's okay if you're late to the party as long as you make a grand entrance. Besides, any monument attached to the Blue song can never be destroyed enough.

5. Things go boom. If you want to watch things go boom you could do worse than to see this movie.

There are of course, some downsides. This movie might not be for you if:
1. You have a strong affection for reality.
2. You don't think being a male model qualifies you to be a leading actor.
3. You don't like cartoon catch-phrases being said by live actors.
4. You don't believe that tomato sauce can disable a multi-million dollar super suit.
5. You have to pay more than $5 to see a movie, and two hours of your time is worth more than mine is.

So in summary, if you've just watched Twilight, and are about to watch The Notebook, you could do worse things than to watch G.I. Joe: Rise of the Cobra. Things go boom, people. Things go boom.

Comments

Crankster said…
I don't think an affection for reality is a pre-requisite for anyone watching a movie.

After all, one does watch movies to enter fantasy and escape reality.

I notice your list has a lot of chick flicks. Would that be a personal choice or the indirect result of being in a relationship with a female?
5:30 AM
Ezra Fox said…
Some of the chick flicks are from being in a relationship, but Twilight and the Notebook are from my side project with my friends. We read books and watch movies we probably won't like, and then make fun of them. It's kinda unfair.

http://read-weep.com/episodes.php/the-notebook-movie/

http://read-weep.com/episodes.php/twilight-the-movie/
10:05 AM
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