Surviving Imtiaz

So this post is meant for two people who don't know about the blog and won't know if this applies to them for another 9 months. I think it's safe to say that this will not apply to most of you. That being said, there still are two new Fulbright ETAs who will be placed at Imtiaz Kuala Berang, and even if you don't know who you are now, you might someday realize I'm talking to you and be grateful for the advice.

For starters, a lot of what I have to say won't apply to you. You'll most likely both be women so your issues will be decidedly different. You'll likely have to deal with a lot more sexist baggage than I do, so I'm sorry for that in advance. If you're a guy I can tell you that Sundays I'm supposed to wear a tie (no idea why that is) and Thursdays is Batik Day, so I'm supposed to wear a batik shirt. They'll tell you how beautiful you look. If you're women, as I suspect you might be, then they'll want you to wear a baju kurung. As the blogosphere as already covered these issues better than I ever could, I'll leave it to you two to find out what you need to on your own.

Getting through the day:
First, they might ask you to come at 7:40 am for assembly. I wouldn't recommend that. Agree to come to school later, like 8:30 at the earliest. Whenever I stay late, I come in early the next day, between 9:30 or 10:00. I ride to school on the moto that Mr. Fix-it loans to me. Since a lot of your job will be looking pretty and being available to speak English to, if you show up (and remember to get dressed) you'll pretty much be set for the day.

Depending when I have class I might go directly to teach, or I might go to the Cafe where I get to eat and see The Cooks

I really liked the limau nipis (lime juice) and ketupat with curry sauce. If you're adventurous with trying stuff out, they'll like you a lot. All you need to learn is cuba (C is Ch in Malay, and it means "try") and sedap (delicious) and you're set.

The Cafe is the major hang out spot. Depending how late it is, I might see The Principal or EJO eating some rice-based meal.

Onward to class. I gave up doing lesson plans. I usually just got an idea and tried to make that work for 35 minutes. Classes are short and you won't get to see the students that much, so really enjoy this time.

On the days where I feel fancy I might do something that needs to be printed out in Compy Lady's computer room, and copied in the office where Big Momma can sometimes be found.

I then use the laptop on loan from Compy Lady in the male teacher's office for the next X hours until class. If it's a good day, I get to see The Rock or Baloo and talk for a bit. If it's a bad day, Malaysian Will Ferrell might yell near me for a bit. If I'm suddenly motivated to learn Malay, it'll be because Will keeps on shouting the word for white person over and over again, and I'll want to know the rest of what he's saying. If the day is neutral, I'll probably wave to Professor X and Armadillo Slim before retreating into the depths of the Internet.

That's actually most of it. I break for lunch between 12 and 2, depending how good the Internet is that day, or maybe I'll read. If it's a really hard one, I'll take a good-sized nap.

Oh, and on the good days, I show Pixar movies to the kids. That kinda makes it all worthwhile. Tonight's the Incredibles, so I'm pretty happy. Basically, you might get bored, but if you can have one thing to hang onto, you'll be okay here.

Best of luck.
Mr. Ez

The Teachers:

The Rock- It's really the biggest shame that you won't get to meet The Rock. He's been my best friend here at Imtiaz and he'll be leaving in about a month to continue his graduate studies. As I've said before, he's a Palestinian who grew up in Jordan and came here three years ago to teach Arabic. He's weirded out by how progressive things are here and I'm weirded out by how conservative they are. But we get along because this country is strange for both of us. Plus we get to commiserate on how the schedule changes for no reason and no one tells us anything. If you're looking for someone to be friends with, find someone on the fringes of the culture. An outcast or a rebel is a good bet.


Malaysian Will Ferrell- Ah, Will. What he lacked in grammar, he made up for in yelling. If anyone is going to master English through the sheer volume of his voice, it's going to be him. The first day he shouted, "YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU TEACH! ME ME ME ME!" and that's been pretty much the tone of our conversations ever since. One time he explained to me that he thought he lost his USB drive but, "IT, IT, IT WAS IN MY WIFE-WIFE-WIFE!"


Armadillo Slim- Slim might be the only Malay I've met who's skinnier than me. He's also got a solid sense of humor and keeps on trying to convince me to give him money.


Professor X- Turned out to be a really good mentor. He was there when I needed help with something (as was The Rock) and he almost never gave me work. He laughed when I joked around with him and returned the DVDs that I loaned to his kids after they watched them. He's also kinda sprightly and can laugh a bit like a magical woodland creature (I toyed with the nickname Puck, but this was way cooler). Interestingly enough, he's a wicked good badminton player to boot. He makes me feel smart because he always asks me clarification questions for English terms or concepts.


Smurfette- The only female teacher I associate with at all, and she'll probably be at least one of your mentors, future ETAs. She's really genuinely kind. Whenever I feel useless I go to ask her for something to do. Then I get annoyed because it actually is work. After I do it, I feel a little better about slacking off for another couple of weeks.


Baloo- I don't actually know his name, but he kinda reminds me of a big friendly bear. The thing is, I haven't learned most of the teachers' names. Anyway, he's really excited about learning English and always repeats the phrase I taught him "If I want to be awesome, I must make a lot of mistakes." If you can find someone like that, you'll be better off for it. I feel bad because we get really excited about having formal English classes for teachers but it hasn't happened yet. If you want something to happen, you kind of have to push it through yourself.


Administration and Staff:
Compy Lady
- The Computer Room Manager. She hooked me up with a laptop immediately after I asked The Rock for help. This came after asking the higher ups for a lappy for several weeks. You'll probably want to bring your own laptop to avoid this.


Mr. Fix-it- This is the guy that got me my moto (it's his) as well as drove me to and from Matang when I didn't have it. He's quiet, but his English is good and he's very kind. He might take some time to warm up, but he's a great guy. Ask him to take you to the best roti canai in Kuala Berang.


The Principal- He bought me a lot of meals early on. I don't see him too much any more, but he's very reasonable. He doesn't usually give me any extra work and I got an extra week off when I asked for it. If he asked you to do something, see if you can do it in a public way when applicable. You definitely score points for doing things that can be fastened to the walls in some way.


Edward James Olmos- Has this joke about the food ketupat being 2-2-4 since ke is to in Malay, tu sounds like two, and pat is short for the Malay word for four. He really likes that joke, but doesn't seem to remember whether or not he's told it to me. He doesn't smile much, has a gravelly voice, and might be an Admiral on an aging space ship, thus the name.


The Cooks- God, I love the cooks so much.
1. They actually make really tasty food.
2. They are the most amused by my Malay out of anyone.
3. They're always happy to talk about the food and they said they'd teach me how to make some of it.


Big Momma- My foster mom. Very short, about the same height as Smurfette. Great smile, and very warm, although prone to long absences. I think if I was living on campus, as you will be future ETAs, I would be able to have more interactions with her. As it stands, I'm going to see inside of her house for the first time tonight when Sarah, my visiting sister, and I all go for a cooking lesson. Big Momma will probably get you anything you need if you're persistent about it. Just don't expect too much good stuff to fall in your lap from any direction.



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P.S. Thanks to John for giving me the idea of how to do this post, even if he didn't realize it.

Comments

David Fox said…
I love this post, and I'm not even likely to be one of the future ETAs (though I can't say it won't happen, just like I can't say that it's impossible for Hillary to win the nomination... come to think of it, might be more likely for me to be a future ETA). Anyway, I loved reading about the cast of characters you've been hanging with!
Annie Fox said…
Really great stuff for future ETA's... or for Ezra of the Past (if only you had written it sooner!)

Lots of love,
Annie
I think pictures would help for the cast of characters :-D
Unknown said…
I was 14 years old back then. I still remember u tried to explain about secularism to my class. By the way, The Rock,Smurfette, Big Momma and The Principal not teaching there anymore.
Ezra Fox said…
It's good to hear from you! I can't believe how long ago that was. I have such good memories from my time at Imtiaz.

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