Enggris
So in Malay, English is called Bahasa Inggris, literally the language of England. I will now show you examples of Enggris, which cannot really be claimed by any one land or culture. It's a hybrid and like the Prius, the Donkey, and the Reese's Peanut Butter Cup, it is far superior than its constituent parts. I can only hope that the encounters with this wondrous creation continue throughout my stay in the Asias.
1. "If you want to see the rainbow, you have to wait for the rain?"
A couple of things to note:
- When given the fertile topics of love and friends, the creator of this t-shirt can only think about good things that are dependent on bad things, since of course we'd need cheering up if someone brought up friends and love. It would make sense if the topic was something inherently bad, like death, taxes, or unexplained rashes. But friends? What's wrong with just writing "This is a good thing that nearly everyone can get behind"?
- I believe the bear lying on the "F" was a tracing of Snoopy that the artist colored brown. Lazy
- I think partway through the making of this shirt, the creator kind of realized that it wasn't that inspirational of a epigraph and lost confidence in him/herself. That's why that question mark got added in. It's kinda sad when you realize that the creator didn't even love the creation. That was the problem with Frankenstein's monster too.
2. "Set short-term and long-term goals."
So this next t-shirt begs a few questions. First, what's this obsession with bears? Second, how is a bear a good example of goal-setting of any length? Third, why do they have a shopping cart?
Actually, it kind of makes sense. We know that bears hibernate, so clearly they have to plan ahead with the food shopping, since they're going to be very tired when they finally wake up. Their long term goal might be: don't die of starvation. While at the same time, the little one is riding in a shopping cart and winking, so the short-term goal is no doubt: be mischievous and avoid walking at all costs. And they both seem pretty happy, so this goal setting is apparently a great way to "Enjoy" and "Go... Go..." So I take it back. The bears definitely know what's up.
3. "Don't go... it danger area!"
Okay, I'm probably not supposed to play favorites, but I'm just going to come out and say it. This is my favorite. Not favorite t-shirt, just favorite thing. Ever. The concept of favorite was invented for this shirt and any one I meet from here on out will have to directly compete with it for my affection.
Let's break down exactly why it's so great:
1. In the top right we have an over sexualized (but still anatomically incorrect) blue mouse lying seductively on a mouse trap and calling out as if she (?) were in a canyon. Also note that she is wearing unrealistic ammounts of make-up, no doubt harmful for young she-mice's body images.
2. Next, "it danger area" is probably the most effective warning ever constructed in any language. You know right away that there are some problematic things happening in the region that pink mouse is talking about.
3. How great is this as cautionary tale? Beware of women that come on to strong because they might be clever decoys placed by creatures 100 times your size set up to irradicate your species by decapitation.
4. How does the pink mouse know? Why isn't he/she/it affected by the Blue's Siren call?
5. If the blue mouse is a real mouse, how did she end up helping humans? And if she's doing it of her own volition, what's her exit strategy? Wouldn't they both get decapitated?
5b. Furthermore, if she's not a real mouse, how did the human that set the trap make such a great decoy that speaks a sexually alluring version of mouse language, no less?
6. At any rate, the human's plan is basically flawless. If the blue mouse breaks away from his friend, he'll kill himself. But if he doesn't, both of them will be so terrified of the opposite sex that they will in all likelihood, never procreate. Either way, no more mice. Just brilliant.
Well, that's all for now. Just remember, if someone of the opposite sex who's the least bit attractive wants to talk to you, it's probably a trap and you're going to die in a terrible way.
-Ez
1. "If you want to see the rainbow, you have to wait for the rain?"
A couple of things to note:
- When given the fertile topics of love and friends, the creator of this t-shirt can only think about good things that are dependent on bad things, since of course we'd need cheering up if someone brought up friends and love. It would make sense if the topic was something inherently bad, like death, taxes, or unexplained rashes. But friends? What's wrong with just writing "This is a good thing that nearly everyone can get behind"?
- I believe the bear lying on the "F" was a tracing of Snoopy that the artist colored brown. Lazy
- I think partway through the making of this shirt, the creator kind of realized that it wasn't that inspirational of a epigraph and lost confidence in him/herself. That's why that question mark got added in. It's kinda sad when you realize that the creator didn't even love the creation. That was the problem with Frankenstein's monster too.
2. "Set short-term and long-term goals."
So this next t-shirt begs a few questions. First, what's this obsession with bears? Second, how is a bear a good example of goal-setting of any length? Third, why do they have a shopping cart?
Actually, it kind of makes sense. We know that bears hibernate, so clearly they have to plan ahead with the food shopping, since they're going to be very tired when they finally wake up. Their long term goal might be: don't die of starvation. While at the same time, the little one is riding in a shopping cart and winking, so the short-term goal is no doubt: be mischievous and avoid walking at all costs. And they both seem pretty happy, so this goal setting is apparently a great way to "Enjoy" and "Go... Go..." So I take it back. The bears definitely know what's up.
3. "Don't go... it danger area!"
Okay, I'm probably not supposed to play favorites, but I'm just going to come out and say it. This is my favorite. Not favorite t-shirt, just favorite thing. Ever. The concept of favorite was invented for this shirt and any one I meet from here on out will have to directly compete with it for my affection.
Let's break down exactly why it's so great:
1. In the top right we have an over sexualized (but still anatomically incorrect) blue mouse lying seductively on a mouse trap and calling out as if she (?) were in a canyon. Also note that she is wearing unrealistic ammounts of make-up, no doubt harmful for young she-mice's body images.
2. Next, "it danger area" is probably the most effective warning ever constructed in any language. You know right away that there are some problematic things happening in the region that pink mouse is talking about.
3. How great is this as cautionary tale? Beware of women that come on to strong because they might be clever decoys placed by creatures 100 times your size set up to irradicate your species by decapitation.
4. How does the pink mouse know? Why isn't he/she/it affected by the Blue's Siren call?
5. If the blue mouse is a real mouse, how did she end up helping humans? And if she's doing it of her own volition, what's her exit strategy? Wouldn't they both get decapitated?
5b. Furthermore, if she's not a real mouse, how did the human that set the trap make such a great decoy that speaks a sexually alluring version of mouse language, no less?
6. At any rate, the human's plan is basically flawless. If the blue mouse breaks away from his friend, he'll kill himself. But if he doesn't, both of them will be so terrified of the opposite sex that they will in all likelihood, never procreate. Either way, no more mice. Just brilliant.
Well, that's all for now. Just remember, if someone of the opposite sex who's the least bit attractive wants to talk to you, it's probably a trap and you're going to die in a terrible way.
-Ez
Comments
Love you, Ez,
Annie