Malaysia ended. In spite of feeling like it would last forever, it did not, since nothing does and nothing can, in fact, last forever. Malaysia was no exception. It ended quietly, all things considered. After the fake wedding everything else seemed comparatively tame. I was present for Sarah’s big blow-out assembly and there was also a goodbye snack in Kuala Terengganu with all of the ETAs and low-level officials. In case you’re ever wondering, low-level officials who are filling in for mid-level officials at events that no officials actually care about really do give the best speeches. The guy didn’t really know any of us very well so some highlights were: "And there’s Gwynne who can only eat tofu… and Chris who is a lawyer and will bring down the American legal system… and Joe. Joe always reminds me of that black guy. You know, that very funny black guy. That actor-" at this point we were all thinking of Chris Tucker, who Joe is a dead ringer for- "Jack Black...
I am not Tim Duncan. I didn't just lose Game 7 of the NBA finals. Actually, I'm pretty sure I didn't even play. But I still felt bad, and that's kind of incredible. Look at that face. Try and tell him he doesn't get a fifth championship. I felt bad because I like Tim Duncan. He seems like a nice guy. He's 37. He has a kid. On the close-up after he missed a shot that would've tied the game, I could see white hairs in his beard. He's old by NBA standards, and even though he's won 4 championships, a 5th would put him in the rare upper echelons of NBA players. Is it important to be in those echelons? I don't know. I thought so. But at the same time, Larry Bird has 3 rings, and people seem to think he was pretty okay. I felt bad because I want people to live forever. And I realize now that I might have some disappointment ahead of me. I hate the idea that at 37, Tim Duncan might've already peaked. Hell, I hate the idea that it's eve...
So it turns out this joy ride through Malaysia really won't last forever. Apparently my replacement has been already chosen, which means that I really won't be here next year and there's no way they can make me stay. Actually, my replacement is really my replacements. Someone important must have thought I was overworked, so there will be two ETAs at Imtiaz Kuala Berang twiddling their thumbs instead of one. I think they just realized the only person who could replace me would be two people, so I feel very confident in saying that they'll be at best, half the ETA that I was. Dear New Malaysian ETAs, Congratulations! You have been excepted to what everyone seems to think is a prestigious program. Your work is pretty much done. You effectively gotten yourself a free trip to Asia, staved off having to decide what to do with your life for the next year, and padded your resume and grad school application so it will now say "Fulbright Fellow" forever after. ...
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